|Me:||The only way I can get over a crush is if they make it really clear they don't like me.|
|My Mom:||Or if they want you to marry them.|
|Me:||Yeah, that works too.|
A bad new habit is saying “I could fuck to that” whenever someone says something I find at all agreeable, oops
- “Motherfuckers will read a book that’s 1/3 elvish, but put two sentences in Spanish and White people think we’re taking over.”
Yesterday we went for a walk, as we’ve been doing lately these weekends, which have been sunny and beautiful, warmer than the cloudy...
Another (fairly) new bad habit is saying “Does the Pope shit in the woods?!” in response to every question to which the answer is a resounding YES
It looked like the opening credits to a feel-good movie.
Blue sky splashed like liquid dishsoap above us, the Statue of Liberty beaming in...
- Murder, She Wrote
I just need everyone to know that I’ve started work on my magnum opus.
I am writing a murder mystery dinner party in which I plan...