May 2012
32 posts
help please
I often feel that I’m careening through the world, trusting indiscriminately and banging into things and spraining my ankles and hurting people and bruising my own heart and others’. But it’s getting more serious and more careless and more harmful.
I’ve recently begun to suspect that I’m flirting with manic-depression and it terrifies me. I can’t think of a single...
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This day off:
Walked home at 9 in the morning in the rain.
Eating: French bread with goat cheese, chorizo, havarti with dill, and prosciutto; Chocolate Blackout cake.
Watching: Dawson’s Creek and Girls.
Listening to: Ray Charles and The Lumineers.
About to: Write something.
Loving: Friends, family, most human beings, All of you.
Showering: Nope.
“I belong with you, you belong with me; you’re my...
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I should be graduating this morning.
The school I started at and my peers, friends, and classmates are holding Commencement right about now. Alternate Universe Lily is smiling widely, waving at her family in the seats, sweating in a polyester robe, clutching a diploma.
We saw this Quantum Physics movie in high school once about how many universes are pressing up against ours, in between our very protons. I didn’t understand...
Just absolutely shoot me.
My 33-year-old co-worker: It says here that your twenties are the best years for your love life.
Me: Pfffft. If that's the case then shoot me now.
“You can’t cut all the phone lines and still be on speaking terms with the...”
– Ray Bradbury, Farewell Summer
It’s a wonderful thing to watch a drunk person approach their drunk meal at 3 am. They contemplate it somberly for a few seconds, presumably either a)figuring out how to eat it, b)trying to control their nausea, c)savoring the anticipation, or d)all of the above.
But so they bring it up to face level and they square off with giant slices of greasy pizza hanging off the sides of floppy paper...
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ALL for me.
Me: (puts my week's supply of giant sea salt chocolate bars on the counter)
Checkout Woman: (with genuine, not spiteful disbelief) Is this ALL for you?!
Me: ...if I said it was for a party, would you believe me?
rae-lynne:
“My idea of good company, Mr. Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.”
- Jane Austen, Persuasion
“Miss Elliot, that is not good company. That is the best.”
Simpatico.
The city felt friendly this weekend.
Friendly, and filled with acquaintances and new friends and potential friends and watermelon cocktails and women out in pretty sundresses because it was Spring! and Mother’s Day and funny texts and late train rides home and Chocolate Lava cake and perfect interactions with strangers.
On Friday night after work, I found myself sitting around...
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My mom has been talking about coming to visit me since I moved to NYC and now I’m tossing around the idea of saving enough money to fly her out here and if that sounds like a super nice thing for a grownup lady to do for her mom, it isn’t. I mean, it is, I love her and I know she’d be so happy to visit Le Big Apple. But the truth is that it’s utterly selfish: I just...
“The easiest way to figure out what to wear for an interview is to imagine what...”
– No Great Illusion
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One regret, dear world.
So, guys. Internet. I went out with this guy on Monday night. I met him during my Sunday Brunch—he’s either the owner or the manager of the place where I went, ensuring that I can’t go back there for brunch alone again, because it would be weird, at least I would feel weird about it, which is a shame because their mimosas are awesome. Anyhow, he’s about fifteen years my...
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Deer Tick—Still Crazy After All These Years...
“You must try to forget all you have learned,” said the old man. ...”
– Sherwood Anderson, Winesburg Ohio
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Paul McCartney and Wings—Let Me Roll It
If...
“Also, and this could be a much longer post but: let’s agree to strike the phrase...”
– Regina Cannot Explain It All:
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Things The Mass-Text I Just Got From A Guy I Went...
Grilling rain or shine
Jugglers
A donut eating contest
Atheists
Rockstars
Kenny’s missing running shoe [?]
A Jew on a BBQ […]
An antique typewriter
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On becoming a "Carrie":
Me: I already have my Sunday Brunch date for this week.
Caroline: "Live in Los Angeles once but leave before it makes you soft. Live in New York once but leave before it makes you 'I already have my Sunday Brunch date for this week'"
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“5. Nachos. Here’s the thing with nachos: the cheese and other toppings are never...”
– Your Healthista: The Ten Most Awkward Appetizers
A declaration (sincere):
I’m not going to perpetuate the cycle of over-generalization and gender polarization by saying that All Men only want to be “friends” with All Women if they think sex might be involved. Literally any statement that begins ‘All men,’ is invalid. But I will say that it’s been my unfortunate experience in recent life that most of the men that I know want exactly...
April 2012
35 posts
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I just found a list of "First Date Questions" on a...
Caroline created them for me a few months ago when we were hanging out at work and I had a date with a guy I didn’t know very well. They are as follows:
—What’s your fave…
drunk food?
love-making position?
swear word?
name for our future child?
cup size?
—How many…
sexual partners have you had?
at once?
jobs have you been fired from?
ladies have...
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“I just want you to date rob kardashian so bad”
– My favorite text of the week
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Type-casting?
Where, I want to know, are these mythological people who have A Type, and date it?
Since moving to the city I’ve dated, depending on how liberally you apply the term “dating”, 1-15 guys, and I can’t find anything in common—from body type to ethnicity to personality to profession—between all of them. English major loafing around the UES, Israeli tennis player,...
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Oh, and a bunch of you asked where I got my sweatshirt and the answer is that I won it at the raffle at We’ve Got Mail, at Housing Works. I also won a Boycott Fox Books totebag which is in Caroline’s possession.
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Relatedly,
when you are wondering where you’re going to get money for food for the next 10 days (thanks for the loan, National Bank of BFFs!), you start to catalogue what you have on hand. Here is what I have on hand:
Two dark chocolate bars
A half of a bag of stale tortilla chips in the vegetable crisper
A quarter of a jar of salsa
Half of a tomato
A bag of rice in the freezer
The very last...
One Young Woman's Continual Loss of...
So, I got robbed again. Which, UGH. There was no gun this time, which is nice. I appreciate that.
At this point it’s becoming fairly routine. Step One: Realize your stuff is missing, Step Two: Seriously? Step Three: Call Mom to cancel debit card, Step Four: Start crying, Step Five: Order new debit card, Step Six: Seriously? Step Seven: Tell friends and acquaintances, Step Eight: Have...
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“Grand Central has an amazingly successful lost and found department. Over 3/4...”
– Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in New York City
There's this girl on Facebook,
we’re “Facebook friends,” but we’re weren’t ever really friends so I have no right to bring this up at all or to even comment on it. But. She’s anorexic. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I hate when people talk about my body, and I don’t want to say it’s ok to just talk about other peoples’ bodies willy-nilly. But it’s distracting...
“Here is what I know now: there should be no shame in wanting, however...”
– No Great Illusion: Not What Loves You Back
I wrote you something.
This is an old story, but I wanted to tell you how much it meant to me, that day when it felt like everything was falling apart surely, implacably, and without anyone seeming to notice but us. I wanted to tell you how much it meant that you were there with me. You handed me one of your earbuds and through 2 train rides, one transfer at Canal St., over 2 bridges, in the sweatiness and duskiness...
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