July 29, 2014
heylabodega:

Allyson I’ve been waiting since I was 26 are you waiting for the G in the Greenpoint Ave station? You have to take the shuttle bus, Allyson

FYI I grammed this at like midnight so nobody saw it but I stand by it, it’s solid, I cracked my beer-drunk self up on the G train home.

heylabodega:

Allyson I’ve been waiting since I was 26 are you waiting for the G in the Greenpoint Ave station? You have to take the shuttle bus, Allyson

FYI I grammed this at like midnight so nobody saw it but I stand by it, it’s solid, I cracked my beer-drunk self up on the G train home.

July 28, 2014

I’m so excited about so many things that are about to happen and I don’t know what any of them are yet.

July 27, 2014
Friendship, basically

Friendship, basically

July 27, 2014

dolmache said: Thank you so much for your answer. I got fitted for shoes on Monday and wow, I noticed the difference instantly. AND I've just got back from my first Run (I think it was ~4k, but google is not cooperative). I wore too short shorts and my inner thighs are raw and I'm slightly disappointed that it wasn't as far as I thought BUT I didn't walk for any of it (even the hills) and I'm going to join a running club and yes I can be a runner and yes I want to and I'll dedicate my 1st half-marathon to you!

Oh my god, I am extremely flattered and also I FEEL YOU on the inner thigh rub—they sell stuff for that too!  It’s called BodyGlide and it looks like a tube of deodorant and it’s basically waxy stuff that you put wherever you tend to chafe, before you chafe, to prevent chafing.  Regular deodorant will actually work in a pinch, too, FYI.

ANYWAYS, human bodies, always a struggle, but I’m so glad that you’re having fun with it and that I could be of any help and GOOD LUCK!

5:24pm
Filed under: dolmache 
July 27, 2014

flavors101 said: what are the men in nyc like? what's the dating scene like? im moving there soon and i read the guys are extremely arrogant.

When people ask me how Portland was, I keep telling them that I was bored but that my self-esteem is really good now.  And that’s really important.  To everything, dating included.  Because I think dating in any place is largely about you, the dater in question.  As long as you understand that WHEREVER you go there are lots of terrible people around you and lots of awesome people around you, and lots of people that are awesome but not in a way that meshes well with your awesome, you’ll be ok I think. 

Because as much fun as it is to NOPE and ‘all dudes are the worst’ and be mean to them on Tinder, they are actually all people and we owe them more fairness.

I mean I haven’t started dating in New York again yet, because I just got back on Wednesday, but you know.

Basically a combination of that Taylor Swift quote "I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.  Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it’s a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table," and, "Clear eyes. Full hearts.  Can’t lose."  Basically, assume people will be great and generous and fun and good, but also be aware of how they make you feel and as soon as it’s “Not good” more than it’s “good,” stop hanging with them, don’t assume it says anything about you, and let them go off into the great ether of “people who no longer factor into your life at all and it’s fine,” and think about them as little as possible.

Basically, the world and therefore New York IS full of great and generous and fun and good people of both genders, but also full of extremely arrogant and terrible people of both genders: assume you’ll meet the former, keep your eyes open for the latter, and don’t let anybody, great or terrible, fuck with your sense of self because we are all way too busy having fun and becoming better versions of ourselves and exploring the world to have time for that.

I didn’t really answer your question, but I kind of answered your question, right?

5:21pm
Filed under: flavors101 NOPE 
July 27, 2014

Caroline tagged me in the six selfies thing.

Actually, I think these are in order from most recent to oldest and is it just because it’s my own face, or has my appearance has changed a lot over the past year?

Oh!  And I will tag suffire, flaming-nips, paulyshorespenisheadquarters, threelisabeth, and infinitewisdom and obviously I’m trying to cultivate a social circle where everyone feels comfortable posting as many selfies as they want as often as they want regardless of tagging, and also I’ve been off the internet-ish for a little bit so if you’ve all already done it and I missed it, do it again or whatever.  U kno w/e.

July 26, 2014

(Source: hellyeah-friends, via lexcanroar)

July 26, 2014

Do you suddenly ever have the feeling that for months now you’ve been making a series of correct choices for yourself for once in your gd life?

July 24, 2014
Tinder, Abridged

Tinder, Abridged

11:01pm
Filed under: NOPE 
July 23, 2014

I didn’t cry when Emma hugged me goodbye, leaning against my mom’s car in my driveway, even though she did, eyelashes wet and tickley on my collarbone.  I didn’t cry when Marie came over after work, bringing pizza and then taking apart my bed for me.  She TOOK MY BED APART FOR ME.  Do YOU have friends that do that after they’ve worked the dinner shift in a hot pizza place on a summer Tuesday night?  Who even does that?  Who are these people I know?  She and my mom made fun of me for all the messy rooms they’ve each helped me clean, I said she would make a better daughter to my mom, she said her mom had always appreciated me coming over to eat ice cream in their basement.  I didn’t cry when I realized I wasn’t going to get the chance to say goodbye to Ariel before I go.  But it all built up and my voice finally watered and broke in the car on the way to my mom’s house when I said, “I’m going to miss you so much,” and she reached over under the pieces of my bed frame that were between us over the center console and touched the inside of my wrist comfortingly.

I promised Marie that I’d visit, and she promised that when I do we can go driving on Sauvie Island at night listening to A Hard Day’s Night.  I gave Emma my favorite croptop and Ben some books and chocolate.

My iPod is loaded up with songs that I haven’t been able to listen to until lately because they remind me of certain Subway stops or certain walks home up Fulton Ave, and songs with New York in the title.  My fun-colored nail polish is removed and dress code compliant.  My suitcases are packed and unpacked and repacked with what my mother calls “an awful lot of clothes,” and I don’t think is really that much at all for 4 seasons of work, running, and going out clothes.  I found my retainer under my bed.  I am, as usual, terrified to fly and have both Caroline’s and Emma’s permission to daydrink in the airport even though my flight is at 7 am.  In my purse is one book from Caroline and one from Eleanor.   The keys to Eleanor’s apartment are on the Yellow Submarine keyring that Marie gave me, tucked safely in the side pocket.  I’m sad and excited and scared.  I’m ready.  Are you ready?

July 22, 2014
"I told Emma that I’ve decided not to be angry anymore. I needed anger to get me through this winter and as a protective cocoon while I changed in a few ways and as an entertainment in this slower paced city, but I don’t need it or want it anymore and I’m ready to let it go. 9 months! I could make a weird comment about gestating a new person, but I won’t, but I guess I just did. I’m so excited to see you and meet the ever-so-slightly new person you are and introduce you to the ever-so-slightly new person I am and try this whole grand exciting terrifying thing all over again. I’m pretty excited for the grimy smell of rain on the city streets."

Dear Caroline/Dear Lily: Dear Caroline, 

Caroline and I are going to see each other tomorrow! and many many days afterwards, but we have every intention of continuing to write each other letters.

July 21, 2014
"I thought I was being loved because I was being altered."

— Michael Ondaatje, ‘The Cat’s Table’

July 21, 2014

I mean, things are only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed, you know?

July 20, 2014
Ok, dudes, can we talk for a sec?  Like, just you and me and the internet?  Like, ok, I know I’ve been doing this semi-performative sassy “everyone’s the worst” cunty braless misandrist pre-spinster-aunt-aesthetic, like, THING, lately, but in all seriousness: let’s talk.  STOP.  I don’t owe you anything, and I *certainly* don’t owe you anything if we met in a bar one time and you decided I was not like anybody else.  I don’t owe you prettiness, I don’t owe you humor and I absolutely completely 110 percent do not owe you any authentic vulnerable part of myself that I don’t voluntarily choose to offer.  I have things.  I have a life.  I have friends and jobs and dates and great hair and a full, interesting, difficult personality, I don’t have time or ANY desire to make you feel satisfied that you’ve gotten to the intimacy level you want with the imaginary person you’ve made in your head and pasted onto me.  When you become boring and/or demanding, I stop talking to you.  Period.  I. do. not. have. time. for. this. bullshit.

Ok, dudes, can we talk for a sec?  Like, just you and me and the internet?  Like, ok, I know I’ve been doing this semi-performative sassy “everyone’s the worst” cunty braless misandrist pre-spinster-aunt-aesthetic, like, THING, lately, but in all seriousness: let’s talk.  STOP.  I don’t owe you anything, and I *certainly* don’t owe you anything if we met in a bar one time and you decided I was not like anybody else.  I don’t owe you prettiness, I don’t owe you humor and I absolutely completely 110 percent do not owe you any authentic vulnerable part of myself that I don’t voluntarily choose to offer.  I have things.  I have a life.  I have friends and jobs and dates and great hair and a full, interesting, difficult personality, I don’t have time or ANY desire to make you feel satisfied that you’ve gotten to the intimacy level you want with the imaginary person you’ve made in your head and pasted onto me.  When you become boring and/or demanding, I stop talking to you.  Period.  I. do. not. have. time. for. this. bullshit.

July 20, 2014

My new goal upon my move back to the city—and I’m about 40/60 kidding/not kidding on this—is to sleep with as many people who have been featured or mentioned in New York Magazine as possible, so far I’m at 2.  Feeling good about it.

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